Never had this feeling before.

And yep, cried for full two hours yesterday. I don’t know why, I just had to cry. I’m really upset. Like fucking upset. Nobody in this family ever fucking did cared for me. All they do is to ask about my elder sister. Yes she’s rebellious, but please, she’s fucking 18 years old. If being rebellious would attract your attention, then fuck okay, I’ll be rebellious. I’ll go smoke, go drink, go club all day long. So then you’ll care about me right? Just because I keep quiet, just because I appear to be fucking normal, does that mean I don’t mind? Just because I’m nice to all my siblings, does that mean you people can take advantage of me? Taking me for granted? I really just felt like dying. Yes, wait till I’m fucking gone. Then you people will understand how I felt. I want you people to regret. Regretted all the things you’ve done wrong to me. I cried for so fucking long. I’m only 16, I need people to care for me too. Just cause I keep mum about it, doesn’t mean I don’t need care and attention. I’m only human. Every single time, you talk to me, it’s only about my elder sis. What about me? Am I invisible to you? Am I really nothing to you? I’ve been tolerating. Yes, and I keep quiet about it. I appear to be happy, I told myself I don’t care, I don’t need all these care and attention. But know something? In my whole life, the best thing I’d ever want to have is family love and warmth. I don’t mind not having any boyfriend or friends, all I ever want is some family love or warmth. Is it that hard? I’m human too, I have a pair of eyes, ears, one nose and one mouth. Am I missing out anything? Am I losing my mouth so you people don’t regard me as a human? I really can’t take all these anymore. Wait, wait till I can’t handle all these stress. Wait till I breakdown and do silly things. Will you people regret? Will you people hope that you could have treated me better? My family, is called family for the sake of calling it. I’m fucking pathetic. I got nothing.

I fucking hate this. If only I'm 21 this year. I'd fucking move out. Too bad. I'm only 16. _l_ I'd seriously rather live in an orphanage, I fucking hate all these.

23 September 2011 @ 1:29 am / 0 daisies

Keliciatay

Never had this feeling before.