So.

So it's 11.40 p.m. now and I'm wide awake because I've had a short nap just now. So as usual, it's always during the night when all my negative thoughts will come gushing to me. My insecurities and unhappiness are building up bits by bits that it's really tearing me apart inside. I don't know how to even get through this period of time, it's damn hard lol. I don't know what I want in my life, I kept myself as busy as possible because once I'm alone, I'd think of all the negative thoughts and get upset again. I feel like a social outcast no matter where I go, probably because I just refuse to open up to anyone. I'm starting to be an anti-social because I hate the society. I feel like shit every single day and I feel ugly 24/7. I'm always feeling like I'm a burden to every single one so I'd rather be alone and keep all my unhappiness inside. I decided to be independent because I really don't want to bother anyone else with my problems. It's been a long period of time ever since I've really been "genuinely happy". Times when I feel like shit inside but I can't tell anyone because I know everyone's busy with their life. It's funny how I kept pushing everyone away when all I want is someone to just stay by my side. Times when I really felt like crying or felt like fucking crap but I can't let it be shown because I don't want anyone to think that I'm attracting attention -'- Times when I can't tell anyone about it because I don't want people to think that I get upset very easily or think too much.

Happiness, when will you come back? I've been so unhappy deep inside I can feel myself breaking down anytime.

26 June 2012 @ 8:42 am / 0 daisies

Keliciatay

So.